vulnerable

my best friend katie came over tonight to hang out for a little bit while i attempted to pack.
packing.
i am really bad at it.
i never know how to take the bare minimums & always over pack.
katie is my neighbor here at home and tonight it almost felt like we were young again.
she was over here hanging out.
(making fun of my indian attire & vulnerable book choices for my trip)
and got the call that dinner was ready @ home.
at the same time my mom called from downstairs that my parents were having dinner too.
just like old times.
i kinda liked the old feeling of having parents help run our lives a little more than we ever knew.

i guess it got me to thinking about how i am graduating this semester.
how i have recently been putting a lot of pressure on myself for this trip...
for it to be something i am going to really soak in.
i have high hopes for the personal growth that i will go through.
with open arms for the experiences that i will have.

it all just comes way too quick.
i swear i just started college...
now i am heading into my last semester.
and am missing the first 2 weeks... which until now didn't really bother me.
but its my last... firsts.
and i'll miss it.
literally & figuratively.

up until recently i didn't realize that i am harder on myself than is good for me.
but, i feel very strongly about some changes that need to happen in my life.
this new year brings new experiences,
big changes,
letting go of toxic relationships, or people in my life,
lose some weight,
feel good about myself again.

all vulnerable things.

if i don't talk about these things.
if i don't allow myself to open up.
it will be that much harder to change.

and so -- here is my small way of starting to open up.
here...
via vulnerable blog.

felt kinda good.